Duke Nukem Forever


Duke Nukem Forever is a game that is famous not for being a good game but for not actually coming out.  For anyone that is unfamiliar with it’s history it was announced over fifteen years before it was actually released.  During those fifteen years it became a long running joke and won numerous awards for being a legendary piece of vaporware.  After ruining a studio and changing developers it was finally released last year to poor reviews.  During Steams annual holiday sale I thought it might be worth at least five bucks and a few drinks so I picked it up.  Thanks a lot Gaben.

During the long development time this game went through a lot of things have changed in the first person shooter world.  

Games now have more developed stories, some games have “new” mechanics like cover systems and role playing elements while the gamers that played Duke Nukem 3d have grown up.  Even if someone had played Duke Nukem 3d in first grade they would be of the legal drinking age now.  The character Duke has not changed at all and the mechanics that were updated were not the best choices.  Who wants to play an old school FPS that limits you to 2 weapons?

Duke Nukem Forever has been out for a while and most people are familiar with it due to the development saga.  

In addition it is not a nuanced game and there are plenty of reviews out there so instead of describing the game more we will just go right to the drink selection.  In the game there are numerous beers for Duke to drink.  His drink of choice is a fictional American beer called Score.  For some reason although Duke is supposed to be a macho hero drinking one water beer gets him blurry vision drunk.  A mediocre game deserves a mediocre drink so the only choice for this game is a lager. There is no need to waste a better drink on this.

If you have to drink an American style lager you might as well go for the best of a bad crowd.

 Looking at beeradvocate.com the highest rated American adjunct lager is Schlitz.  Coincidentally enough the Duke Nukem Score beer appears to be none other than Schlitz!  Hooray!  Get a six pack of tall boys so they are big enough to last through all the time wasting filler sequences that were added to the game.  By the time you are done with the game and the Schlitz you will be sick of both of them.